


Wish List

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Christmas, First Time, M/M, Mistletoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-23
Updated: 2006-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-25 16:56:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"If you really want me to get into the Spirit of Christmas, here's a list."</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Wish List

**Author's Note:**

> Written for undermistletoe Mystery Schmoop Week. Thank you very much to daydreamer for the beta.

John liked the Holiday season.

It reminded him of cookies and hot cocoa, of his mother decorating the Christmas tree, and of calmly walking through the city, while others rushed around needing to get any amount of things done. John hadn't had to do anything for Christmas for a while now and maybe that was why he could enjoy it as a peaceful, happy time, even missing the thrill of preparing for those few days of the year that were about celebrating together.

So when Elizabeth suggested doing something special for the occasion in the senior staff meeting he was right on board.

To forget that they were cut off from home in a strange and dangerous galaxy, she said. To get into the Holiday Spirit, he added.

And then Rodney looked at both of them as if they were insane.

"You cannot expect me to spend valuable time on... what exactly are we even talking about here? Will someone dress up as Santa, so that all the kids can sit on his lap and tell him what they want?"

"I was thinking along the lines of a little party and maybe some sort of presentation, not a play exactly, but bits and pieces of how the holidays are celebrated in the various cultures that all of us represent."

"Right, and then our parents get to tape it on shaky videos, so the we can forever remember how little Susie and Tom only messed up 5 times in the two lines they had."

"Rodney, come on. It'll be fun. Surely, you've _heard_ of that," John couldn't help teasing.

"And surely you've heard of the Wraith and how we're still basically entirely defenseless against them."

"Rodney," Elizabeth said firmly. "I don't think anyone will forget about the Wraith and I'm not telling you to stop working, but I want your department to help in _some_ capacity. The Wraith pose no immediate threat and the general spirit of the members of this expedition _is_ important."

"Of course. I'll order Christmas songs each morning from now on."

"I'm putting Major Sheppard in charge of the festivities and I expect you to assist him in any way you can. I trust that he won't place too many demands on your time or that of your staff."

"Of course," John said with a straight face. "When do you have time to try on a Santa costume?"

Rodney shot the fiercest death-glare he could manage at him and might have growled a little before taking his laptop and leaving without another word.

"John," Elizabeth said warningly.

He lifted his palms, smiling innocently.

~~

John was a man on a mission and that mission was to get Rodney in the Holiday Spirit.

There was nothing that killed the Holiday Spirit faster than someone constantly moping about it. And Rodney seemed absolutely hell-bent on clinging to his foul mood, making biting remarks about every suggestion and request from John. There really was only one way out. Rodney had to be turned around and John would be the man to do it, even if it killed him - or Rodney.

Unfortunately it was easier said than done.

Christmas songs were rigorously cut off and Rodney banned all holiday decorations from his lab by the second time John smuggled in a small twig with some bows. He went to the safer route then, thinking that surely Rodney couldn't resist culinary gifts. He was right - in part.

Rodney accepted both the cinnamon cookies and the hot chocolate John managed to acquire, but only minutes later he was yelling at John again for wasting his time even more than usual.

When John brought his USB stick into Rodney's lab to smuggle a really funny rendition of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer onto his computers, Rodney stopped him before he could even get near them.

"Major, please. No more jingle bells or dreaming of a white Christmas," he pleaded. "No more tied up weeds, and if you have cookies or the like just leave them on my desk. If you need people to help with the 'presentation', talk to them directly. Here's a list of volunteers." He handed John a sheet of paper. "I've freed up their schedules a bit."

It really wasn't about that, at least not just. So John started protesting, "But-"

Rodney cut him off with a wave of his hand. "I know. You just can't stop. For some reason it's very important to you that everyone skips down the halls intoning songs about flying ruminant mammals. If you really want me to get into the Spirit of Christmas, here's a list." Rodney handed him another sheet of paper. "Let me know when you're done. Until then, I'll see you at the next staff or mission meeting."

John was unceremoniously pushed backwards out of the lab, before the door closed in his face.

Rodney was really going to be a difficult case.

~~

John sat down in his office with a cup of hot chocolate (part of the stash of things he could try on Rodney) and Rodney's list.

 _For your convenience in ascending order of difficulty to obtain_

 _1) Coffee beans._

Well, that was easy. It was simply a matter of trading.

 _2) Molson Special Dry_

Okay, he didn't know if this was even available on Atlantis, although since it was second on the list, he presumed it was. Maybe the owner simply didn't like Rodney.

 _3) A new pair of boots (size 11.5)_

This was a bit tricky. He knew that Rodney's boots had been torn on one of their missions. They had been repaired of course, but it had been one of the things Rodney had complained about. It was a trivial matter to get them on Earth, but seemingly impossible in Atlantis. And John knew Rodney would laugh in his face if he brought him Athosian boots.

 _4) A double bed_

Yes, he supposed it was on the wish list of many people on Atlantis. The Ancients really hadn't made comfort one of their top priorities, it seemed. John didn't suppose Rodney would mind who had manufactured the bed in this case. Actually the difficult part would probably be to keep this a secret. If it made the rounds, everyone would want one. He'd talk to Teyla about where this could be acquired.

 _5) Getting laid._

Well, that was... somehow very Rodney. He didn't really think it could be so hard to find someone who was willing to sleep with Rodney once (and the phrasing here heavily implied a relationship was not necessary, maybe not even wanted). But he couldn't imagine _asking_ some woman out on a one-night-stand on behalf of Rodney.

 _6) Someone to fix the broken remote control in one of the sewers._

He read this one twice, because it confused John that it came _after_ the sex. How difficult could this be? He only vaguely remembered that it wasn't so much a qualification problem as making someone work two days hip-deep in effluent. And it had come up in each senior staff meeting of the last months. He'd have to ask around about this.

And then there was only one wish left.

 _7) A kiss from the one I love._

John choked on the sip of chocolate he'd taken. Rodney was screwing with him, all right. The phrasing alone was so flowery that it could only be sarcasm. He'd half-feared that Rodney would end with something impossible (like a ZPM). But this was... probably _meant_ to be impossible, the final thing that made John give up and just leave him in peace. And yet...

Rodney was brash, loud and always felt the need to share any complaint he had with everyone in sight. But he could be quiet, too, John had learned in the last months. He cared about his teammates and also his staff (or at least most of them), even if he liked to complain about them. There could be something, well, almost endearingly vulnerable about the man, so John couldn't help thinking that even _if_ this was meant to dissuade him, it might still be true. All the other wishes had been real after all.

John re-read the list while drinking the last of his now warm chocolate. Then he folded the piece of paper neatly up, put it in his pocket and left to start trading.

~~

Apparently Rodney really hadn't expected John to try to deliver.

When John brought him coffee beans two days later, his face lit up, before his eyes narrowed on John.

"Okay, what do you want for them?" he asked, suspicion obvious in his voice.

"They are the first item of your list. You remember?"

Rodney thought about it for a second, then his eyes widened. "You mean, you've actually got everything on that list?"

John had to smile about how astonished Rodney looked. "Not _yet_ , but I'm working on it."

"Oh," Rodney said and his face fell until it displayed something that looked like resignation to John. Then he looked at John again. "But just so you know, my offer was for the _whole_ list only."

"Okay. And what exactly are you offering?"

"For _everything_ on the list? If you get me all, you can count on me to help out in any capacity that _you_ wish."

"There is this nice little role of an angel." John couldn't help himself. The idea of Rodney as an angel was too good to pass up.

Rodney seemed entirely unconcerned. "I trust there aren't too many lines."

"There'll be a costume," John blurted out, which was not entirely true, because Lt. Hester had only promised he'd _try_ to make something, if they could find the materials for him. But John really wanted Rodney to sputter about or better yet complain, because right now he seemed entirely too convinced that John would never reach his goal.

"Just make sure it's my size," Rodney said with a smile and lifted the coffee beans in acknowledgment, before returning to his desk.

Hmm. It hadn't gone entirely according to plan, but Rodney _was_ in a decidedly better mood, even though not necessarily the Holiday Spirit.

And John had only six wishes left to go.

~~

For the next days John divided his time between organizing the Holiday Bash, as they'd started calling it, and trading for things that could be traded for other things that could be traded for something on Rodney's list. And on the side he did some Military Commander stuff.

Rodney was still a great Christmas-unfriendly zone. Whenever he saw John discussing something for the Bash with one of the scientists in the lab he made a point of making a sarcastic remark. It had gone so far that people stopped talking when Rodney came near. Rodney mostly ignored it.

He did show some interest in John's progress though. The day after John had brought the coffee beans, Rodney joined him for lunch. First he complained about how much valuable lab time was _stolen_ by John because of the stupid Bash, but then he made an attempt at casual.

"By the way, have you been working on my wish list?"

John had to bite on his lip to stop himself from smiling. Rodney _wanted_ to be won over. Even if he wasn't aware of it.

Rodney offered to help him locate the beer, but he was too late. Locating hadn't been the problem.

In fact the beer would have been very easy to trade for if John hadn't made the mistake of honestly answering the question of whether he was going to share with Rodney. Dr. Trudeau had kicked him out of her lab and eventually told him that the price for the beer was to remove Rodney from her line of bosses. John only vaguely mentioned restructuring the Science Department to Elizabeth, before realizing that his best plan was stealth.

He went through two middlemen who knew as little as possible so that the Lieutenant trading for the beer could truthfully answer that it was neither for Dr. McKay nor for Major Sheppard. It actually cost him less than the coffee beans, not counting what he had to give the intermediaries.

But it was worth it. The look on Rodney's face when John knocked on his door one evening, beer in hand, was that of any child on a Christmas morning, when Santa had indeed come and brought so much loot that it hardly fit under the tree. He even invited John in and poured him half a glass.

John didn't really see what was so special about it, but still he smiled and nodded while Rodney slowly drank, making vaguely sexual noises of satisfaction. John didn't mind. He guessed it meant Rodney was happy.

Rodney was not happy enough to participate in the organization of the Holiday Bash, though. He kept his labs a Holiday-free zone and whenever he encountered decorations he rolled his eyes or made a sarcastic comment.

That didn't deter John though; in fact it just made him more eager. If the smile on Rodney's face when he drank his freshly brewed coffee wasn't enough it was the way he mentioned his boots or how he couldn't sleep well in his narrow bed. In his own way Rodney was encouraging him and John was never one to turn down a challenge. Certainly not one as interesting as this.

So he kept trading and asked Elizabeth about the sewer problem, and at the same time organized getting some golden fabric from the Athosians for Lt. Hester. Even after the Holidays were over, the photographic evidence of Rodney as an angel would last forever.

~~

Unfortunately things didn't seem to really move forward for almost a week after he'd gotten the beer.

The scenes for the presentation at the Holiday Bash were decided upon and written. Costumes and set decorations were in the process of being made and casting was almost finished so that people could start learning their lines, few as they were. John hadn't cast anyone as the angel.

He mentioned the role to Rodney again after a meeting, but Rodney gave him a little half-smile and simply said, "You're not even half-way there, Major. After the fourth wish we can talk about my 'motivation' as winged humanoid." Then he saw a scientist carrying something that looked vaguely like a pot of poinsettia. "I hope you're not thinking of bringing that to the lab," he yelled at the startled woman. "Really, do the botanists have nothing to do at _all_?"

John sighed and let Rodney go after the poor woman. Rodney had toned down his remarks against the Bash and anything else related to the Holidays in John's presence, leaving it at small digs here and there. However John was sure it didn't have anything to do with the slow appearance of the Christmas Spirit, but was due to Rodney's badly guarded interest in the progress of his wish list. When Rodney teased him about how many days it had been since the last wish he fulfilled, there was just a hint of hope in Rodney's voice.

And John didn't want to disappoint him. The idea of fulfilling all of Rodney's wishes, random as they had probably been, seemed to have become about more than just the Holiday Spirit. Apart from John, Rodney was still unforgiving to anyone who was putting up decorations or whistling Christmas songs in the hall, but still John felt he could change Rodney in _some_ way by granting him his wishes and that secretly Rodney wanted that.

He went to his office and got out the sheet of paper with Rodney's wishes.

It was only two and half weeks till Christmas and the status of the list was as follows.

1) and 2) Done

4) Traded against a favor on honor basis with Halling. It had been simple enough with Teyla's mediation, however it was turning out to be a far bigger problem to organize the transport into Rodney's room. The most simple plan involved having to bribe at least three soldiers, which was not only risky, but would also cost him even more out of his trading stash, which was dwindling as it was.

3) He'd located a new pair of boots in Rodney's size. They belonged to a soldier who had brought them as his personal item for the same reasons that made him very unwilling to trade for them now. And John had offered him a lot, even stuff that he didn't have. So far he hadn't been successful.

6) After talking to Elizabeth and Zelenka he had been able to find out that one of the sewer controls was broken. It wasn't a very serious defect that needed to be fixed in order for the system to function, but it meant that, instead of monitoring the sewers remotely, each week a poor soul was sent down to check. It was one of the things that _should_ be done, but didn't _need_ to be done and given the circumstances wasn't likely to be fixed in the foreseeable future.

When he'd finally found out what the problem was about, John had started asking around to see which scientist might be most willing to do it in exchange for goods. Most told him flat-out, he'd be more likely to find someone to volunteer to inspect a Wraith planet up close. And the only ones who actually mentioned a price asked for a ride home to Earth and, in what was probably a more serious offer, for a date with Teyla.

It seemed Rodney hadn't been entirely wrong to place this so highly.

5) and 7) John hadn't really thought very much about it. While talking to various scientists, he'd kept it in the back of his mind though, and there was one geologist who seemed to be Rodney's type. She was a feisty, well-built blonde, with a somewhat dirty sense of humor that John figured Rodney would like, even though it wasn't his thing personally. She was also smart and quite pretty. John had never heard Rodney mention her, but then he didn't think he would, not if he _really_ liked her.

All in all he hadn't spent a lot time on those two wishes yet. He only had a vague notion of maybe combining them. He didn't think Rodney would mind kissing _and_ sex with 'the one he loved'.

~~

It was two days later when John suddenly had an idea, while he was having lunch with Rodney.

"8 days, Major. I know I've spent most of those deciphering the documents about the artifact we found, but don't think I'm not keeping track. You're not giving up, are you?" It was that same mixture of superiority with a hint of underlying emotion that John had gotten used to.

Mostly he answered in the same manner, letting Rodney know he was still working on the list, both to put him into place and to reassure him. This time however he jumped up from the table in the mess hall and left a slightly confused Rodney alone, to check when the next trip to the mainland was scheduled.

Then it all went very quickly.

The frame of the bed was disassembled and put into a crate. The mattress was put under a protective cover and prepared with dirt and some formulas and symbols. Then John had it all shipped to the lab closest to Rodney's room. The two of them carried it over later in the night and John assembled the whole thing on top of Rodney's old bed, because Rodney said he'd ordered a bed, not a construction kit.

Rodney was very pleased with the bed however, and with watching John assemble it for that matter.

John caught Rodney looking at him, instead of his laptop screen, several times while he worked and would have said something if he didn't fear that Rodney would go off on a rant about how nobody had forced John to try and fulfill Rodney's wish list.

In the end, when everything was screwed together and cleaned up, Rodney got up from his desk and let himself fall dramatically onto the sheets.

He sighed. Then he looked up at where John stood, smiling down at him, and moved to the side.

He patted the sheets next to him. "Want to try out the fruits of your labor?"

John wasn't sure he really wanted to know how great this bed was. After all, he'd have to sleep in his own Atlantis standard bed. But Rodney had a half-smile playing on his lips, so he figured he'd try. And who knew. Maybe he could trade for another one.

He let himself fall backwards onto the bed as Rodney had.

Wow. Soft like clouds but not too saggy. Really, for this alone Rodney should play an angel for him.

He turned to Rodney, who lay sideways, his had propped on his hand, looking down at him.

"You could at least take a look at the script already," John said, looking up.

Rodney snorted, then smiled. "Send it over," he said.

John grinned. It occurred to him that he was lying in bed with Rodney McKay, but that it was somehow not at all awkward.

~~

He talked to Sergeant Walters, Owner of The Boots, again the next day. He tried to tell him that they weren't for himself. They were for a good cause, that he wanted them for a friend who'd really gone through a lot since coming to Atlantis and who really needed to be cheered up.

When the Sergeant started talking about his sister, John let it wash over himself, thinking the other man might get sentimental that way and agree to trade. And it was almost like that.

John left half an hour later with a new pair of boots, size 11.5, not sure if this had been an exceptionally easy or hard trade. Well, he supposed he'd find out if they ever got back to Earth, where he would be having coffee with Miss Walters.

~~

Standing in the sewers for the second time, John gave up. There simply was no easy way to do this other than putting all of Atlantis's plumbing on hold for 36 hours. The only equipment that would actually seal off everything including the air 100% was not built to withstand effluent and he needed full use of his fingers to do the work, which Zelenka had agreed to guide him through.

It was going to be _really_ ugly. The idea of telling Rodney that he'd done it was terribly inviting. He had practically glowed when John had given him the boots and for a moment John had thought Rodney would hug him, but he had just said a heart-felt "Thank you".

But even so, the repair of olfactory hell was something that John didn't want to do unless he felt he could reach his other goals, too. Which meant it was time to find Rodney's love.

"So, I don't suppose you could give me a hint on your last wish," John asked Rodney later that night, when everyone else had left the lab.

"The last one? Sure. A kiss is when two people press their lips against each other."

"I thought so." John sighed.

"Are you telling me, you've already organized the other two that are missing?" Rodney asked, turning his chair around so that he faced John.

John leaned against the desk. "Number 6 is all planned out. And I had hoped to combine 5 and 7."

Rodney gave him a long look that John couldn't read at all, and that made John cross his arms in front of his chest.

"Major, I assure you that 5 will be a lot easier if you do not try to combine it with 7."

John thought there was a certain undertone there, although once again he couldn't quite pinpoint it.

"So getting laid would mean a simple one-night stand?" he asked instead.

"That would certainly be enough."

"Maybe even just a hand job?" John had been in the army long enough to have had his share of buddies helping each other out.

"Yes, Major. And before you ask about every position, which I'm sure you know plenty, I would consider this fulfilled by any encounter with a living person that gets me off. No videos, no sex over the comm. Other than that I don't care about positions or who it is and how they look." After a moment he added, "Although if they look really ugly, or it's someone I wouldn't want to knowingly have sex with, a blindfold would be appreciated."

An image of a blindfolded Rodney and Kavanagh flashed through John's mind. He shuddered.

"Obviously I'd be discreet about the whole thing and would expect the same of her." John nodded. "Or him as the case may be," Rodney added.

John's eyes widened just a bit. It wasn't that he was _shocked_ or anything. The way Rodney talked, marriage and kids were the last thing on his mind and when it came to a hand on your dick, gender didn't really matter to most guys if they were desperate enough.

Still, Rodney said, "Is that a problem for you?" just a bit more harshly than before.

"No, no, not at all. In fact I suppose it makes it easier. More people to choose from."

Rodney nodded and turned to the screen again.

John didn't want to leave him like that even though he couldn't explain why.

"So, no hint at all about 7?"

Rodney looked at him once more. "You'll have to find out for yourself."

"I tried, I'm just not sure I'm very good with this kind of thing. Could I... consult with others?"

Rodney smiled. "Ask whomever you want, Major. I doubt that it will help though."

John nodded and left. At least he could ask some others now. But he suspected Rodney might be right. Maybe 7 was something that he simply wouldn't be able to fulfill.

~~

While he read up on the sewer repair, he had talked to various people including Teyla, Ford and Elizabeth. None had been able or willing to help. Teyla had made some vague allusions to how it was not her place to make assumptions, which made him pretty sure that she _had_ made some. Elizabeth had told him that she didn't know and even if she did, John would have to find out himself.

It was all quite frustrating. He even tried to talk to the pretty geologist, whom he suspected _might_ be the one Rodney was interested in, but he couldn't really find out much beyond that she and Rodney had exchanged a few words. John didn't really like her, so he left it at that.

He also tried to talk to Rodney again, but Rodney was evasive, not willing to discuss it, but at the same time strangely encouraging in general. And he kept giving John looks that made John feel as if he were missing something really obvious. However he didn't do it in a malicious or even teasing way, which was just a bit disconcerting.

Eventually John went to Zelenka, because he knew Rodney liked and respected him and that Zelenka returned the sentiment. So John entered his lab one afternoon, putting on his winning smile.

"I will not tell," Zelenka said before John could even say hello.

"Will not tell what?" John asked, deciding there might still be a chance Zelenka didn't know what he'd come for.

"Will not tell you who it is that Rodney loves."

So much for that. John hid his disappointment. Then a thought occurred to him. "But you _do_ know?"

"I have fairly strong suspicion. I'd say over 90% certainty."

Finally there was light at the end of the tunnel. "And why can't you tell me?"

"Rodney wouldn't want me to."

"Rodney doesn't want you to do a lot of things," John said with a grin, trying to appeal to a rebellious side in Zelenka, if there was one.

"Yes, but it wouldn't be right."

"Why not? He told me I could ask around. He put this damn thing on the list. If he didn't want anyone to know he wouldn't have put it there."

"He only made list to get rid of you."

"Well, it hasn't worked and so far he hasn't complained. I'm pretty sure he won't complain, if I get him this last wish, too."

Zelenka looked at him for a moment. "Who do _you_ love, Major?"

Well, that was a non-sequitur or at least nothing John had expected. He wasn't prepared for that question and really, there wasn't anyone anyway. He was about to tell Zelenka that, when Zelenka spoke up again.

"See? It's not something that should be shared by me. If Rodney _really_ wants you to know, he'll tell you."

Zelenka turned away and John had to accept that the conversation was over, at least for the moment.

~~

When John entered his office after talking to Zelenka, he found himself looking for some chocolate in his trading stash. When he found it, he just looked at the colored packaging of the bar.

Yes, Zelenka hadn't been able to help him, but that wasn't different from the others he'd asked. What _was_ different was that Zelenka knew who it was.

This should have been good. Because it meant one more person to work on and if Zelenka had an idea, maybe there were still others who did, too. It also meant that this person was real.

John hadn't actually thought that Rodney had just made that point up. There was something about the way he refused to talk about it and the tiniest glimmer of hope, when John was talking about completing the list, that had always made John think it was real and that meant possible, even if hard to attain.

But still it had remained very academic in his mind. Rodney had feelings for someone. Who was that someone? It was just a puzzle, in a way very abstract. But now that Zelenka had confirmed the existence of this person, it came crushing down on John that they were talking about a real living human being.

And more than that, 'the one I love' suddenly meant so much about Rodney. How long had Rodney had these feelings? John didn't want to think of them as love. That part at least he was willing to say had only been done to mock John. But there were feelings in any case. There was a person that Rodney thought about when he was lonely, that he longed to be with, someone that maybe made him smile or maybe sad or both at the same time.

John hated that person. And he didn't even know why.

It wasn't like he was one of those bitter singles that hated being alone so much that they wanted everyone else to be as alone and miserable as them. He wished other people all the happiness they could get as long as it involved two consenting adults. Or more than two if that was what it took.

But now, with Rodney... it wasn't that he wanted Rodney to be alone and unhappy. This whole thing had started _because_ he wanted to see Rodney happy, at ease with himself and the world for once. He just suddenly really wished that the last point on the list had been something else.

The idea of Rodney with that blonde geologist was just... wrong somehow. He couldn't imagine Rodney calling it a night during an exciting experiment because his girlfriend expected him. Would she wave him goodbye when they went on missions? Would they move in together? Would they become "Rodney and whatever-her-name-was"? The thought alone of being invited for a nice dinner with them made John sick.

Maybe he _was_ bitter and just didn't realize it most of the time. Maybe Rodney was different from everyone else, because John somehow identified with him, had somehow thought that he and Rodney were the same in this respect, bachelors, not necessarily out of choice, but because it was the practical thing for who and what they were.

Really, it wasn't actually fair to date someone, with the busy and dangerous lives they led. He didn't want to think about the fact that there might be someone who wouldn't care about that, who would understand it in fact and give Rodney both the space he needed and the support that would make his life just that bit easier. Because if the one Rodney loved was like that, John couldn't even tell himself that it was wrong.

John put away the chocolate and pulled out the notes on the sewer repair again. He didn't really learn anything new, but at least he stopped thinking about Rodney for a while.

~~

John avoided Rodney for the next couple of days. Right now he couldn't have taken Rodney's teasing inquiries after his progression and especially not that bit of hope that seemed to swing along with them more and more. John also didn't try to speak to Zelenka again about wish number 7 or to anyone else for that matter.

It was like the Christmas Spirit had been sucked out of him and wasn't it just like Rodney to not only not have it, but also to manage that others lost it, too.

He found himself preparing for the sewer repair and he didn't even know why. He didn't really feel like finishing Rodney's wish list anymore. And yet his thoughts came back to the two other missing wishes again and again as if by force. He didn't think of them as one wish any longer.

In fact sometimes he imagined how he would persuade the busty geologist against her will to do him the favor and kiss Rodney. It would be forced and bad and Rodney would then accept that it would never be, but since John had fulfilled his list, he'd try to get into the Spirit of Christmas and find himself happy even without her.

The sex shouldn't be too difficult. It didn't have to be anyone in particular any longer. He could even do it himself. And yes, that thought had occurred to him from the moment Rodney had said that a helping hand from another guy would be okay. And yes, back then it hadn't made him feel as uncomfortable as it did now somehow.

They were teammates, but again, just a helping hand between friends. It wasn't like he wanted to enter some torrid affair with Rodney. Just a hand job. He wasn't even planning on going down on Rodney, even though he'd done it with others in the spirit of reciprocation. He certainly wasn't thinking about taking Rodney to bed, naked, wrapped around each other, smelling and tasting each other.

And it was mostly at this point in his line of not-thinking that John got out the notes on the sewer repairs again; twice, he even went down there to take a look at the damn thing first hand.

When Rodney leaned over to him during a meeting one morning and whispered another thank you for the bed, saying that he could sleep so much better now, John called Zelenka and spent the next two days hip-deep in the most disgusting concoction he could imagine.

When he was done, Rodney looked as if he wanted to kiss him, except that he kept his distance, crinkling his nose. John went to his room and showered about three times and when he came out the last time, he crumpled Rodney's wish list into a little ball and threw it into a corner.

Then he read two pages of War and Peace at least three times before picking the list up again and putting it in his night stand.

~~

The avoidance thing didn't work as well, when Rodney apparently really wanted to talk to him. After the last staff meeting Rodney had told John almost eagerly that he had started learning his lines. John had just nodded and left and out of the corner of his eye caught the slightly befuddled look on Rodney's face.

At lunch that day John went especially late, after having seen Rodney go early. He was almost finished, when Rodney sat down opposite him.

"So how are the last two points on the list going? I have to admit, Major, you've shown far more persistence and ingenuity that I would have thought. The sewer thing alone... you've won a lot of friends there. They'd probably sign up for anything you'd ask them to. I think you could probably add a little number with singing and dancing elves to the presentation, although I'm not sure you'd have the material for the co-"

"Okay," John said, just to make him stop.

He didn't know when and how it had happened, but apparently he wouldn't get out of this, short of openly admitting defeat. And even then or possibly _especially_ then, Rodney might still badger him about it, so he'd just play the last card he had and at least buy himself some time. It was only four days until the Bash anyway. And there was still the option of hiding.

"Okay, what?" Rodney asked.

John got up from the table and walked away. When Rodney didn't follow, John turned around and said "Five!" through his teeth, raising his eyebrows.

Rodney's jaw dropped in a way that would have been comical, if John didn't have a very bad feeling about what he was planning to do. Then he could see Rodney practically jumping up from his chair and walking, in the fastest way possible without it becoming running, past John out of the mess hall.

Even as John started following him, he began to regret his decision.

~~

Once inside Rodney's room, John dropped to his knees immediately, wanting to get over with this as soon as possible. He couldn't even say why for sure except that this had bad idea written all over it.

Rodney whispered, "Oh God," and John started undoing his pants, sliding them down along with his boxers, until he was faced with Rodney's already hardening dick.

John hesitated for a second. He could still get up and tell Rodney that he'd give up, that Rodney had won. But he had dropped to his knees willingly enough and leaving Rodney like this... Rodney would either be bitchy about it forever or make fun of him or he would do neither of those things, which was the most frightening alternative of all. Because if Rodney really thought about it, he might come to the conclusion...

John gripped Rodney's dick, wet his lips and sucked the head into his mouth. Rodney made a noise, quick and low, coming from deep inside him. John took him deeper, licking down the underside of Rodney's shaft as he went. Rodney's knees began to shake just a bit, so John moved his hands to steady him with his hands, supporting Rodney below the hips, his fingers digging into Rodney's ass.

When John took him even deeper, Rodney moaned and it was doing things to John. He could feel himself harden and sucked on Rodney's dick before moving further back again to concentrate on the head. He put one hand around the shaft again to stroke it while he sucked along the ridge of the head, rubbing his tongue around in a way that made Rodney's hips buck.

"John." It was such a heartfelt groan that in that moment John knew why this had been a bad idea.

It wasn't that he hadn't known all along. But he simply couldn't deny any longer that he wanted to hear Rodney say his name like that again and again, every day, for the rest of his life. He wanted to make Rodney smile and only slightly mocking instead of downright abusive when someone intruded on his life with Holiday cheer. He wanted to bring Rodney into the Spirit of Christmas all year long. He wanted to be on his knees for him and in his arms and his bed and his mind. He wanted Rodney.

And he wanted to kill the fucking number 7 on Rodney's list for making it all impossible.

John began jerking Rodney off while sucking in the head of his dick, using his tongue to get him off as quickly as possible, because he just had to get out of here.

Rodney was babbling now, things like "Yes", and "Oh God" and John's name again and again and then finally his hips stuttered and with a last "John!" he shuddered and came and John swallowed it all.

He supported Rodney with one hand while pulling up his boxers and pants and when Rodney was all tugged in and presentable again, neither of them had said a word and John still hadn't looked at him. And he wasn't planning to, so he got up and turned away from Rodney in one fluid motion. He moved to leave the room, noticing that Rodney turned to look after him, but he didn't stop and before Rodney said anything John had opened and closed the door.

~~

John spent the rest of the day and much of the night wondering when and how exactly it had happened that he suddenly had these feelings for Rodney. Or more specifically, why it didn't really feel sudden at all. In the end he didn't come to any satisfying conclusion and by that point he was mostly thinking about how screwed he was anyway.

When he woke up the next day, he wondered if someone would notice if he just stayed in bed all day. Grudgingly he got out and showered and tried not to think about Rodney when he jerked off. Then he took his laptop and hid in an uncleared part of the city to do some boring paperwork, before he had the next meeting for the presentation for the Holiday Bash.

Shortly before the meeting he got an email from Rodney telling him that in the Spirit of Christmas he felt that he really needed to offer something to John, so he would be willing to speak the text, if not actually dress up as an angel. At least as long as John didn't finish the list.

"I never would have thought so, but after yesterday I'm confident that you could fulfill even that last wish," Rodney wrote and John didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Of course he did neither. Instead he packed up for the meeting and Rodney was there and flushed only slightly at the sight of him and they had a rehearsal and then the state of the costumes and the technology setup was discussed and somehow he had dinner with Rodney and Teyla and Ford and the world was going on and that night John fell asleep quickly.

When he woke up again he felt better. He felt okay and he realized that his life hadn't really changed dramatically. He had been alone before. He had his job, his team, Atlantis, and there was a huge party coming up. He checked in on the engineers that had been assigned to set up the sound and light systems. He talked to his performers and by the time he picked up the costumes he could look at the artfully draped golden fabric that Rodney would never wear and feel only slightly wistful about it.

Rodney came by that afternoon. "So do you need some hints for number 7?"

"I won't be able to fulfill the last wish on your list," John said calmly and it was as if a little light went out in Rodney's eyes, but he simply couldn't do _that_ much in the Spirit of Christmas, and knowing your own limitations was a necessary part of being a pilot and a soldier. "I'm sorry," he added sincerely and when Rodney smiled at him, John knew that somehow it would all be okay.

~~

Rodney came to his office the next morning to pick him up for the pre-Bash meeting with Elizabeth. When John got up he spied the mistletoe that Ford thought was really funny. He reached up to remove it for the third time.

"Is that?" Rodney asked.

"Mistletoe, yes. Ford seems to think I need my own brand of holiday cheer. Maybe you could persuade him that I have more than enough of it."

Rodney was uncharacteristically quiet though and just stared at the plant. John couldn't help a grin. And this was probably just another bad idea, but he didn't feel like he had much to lose at this point and really he just wanted to see Rodney's surprised expression so he leaned forward and quickly kissed him on the mouth.

He wasn't disappointed. Rodney's eyes widened.

"Tradition demands it," John said before throwing the mistletoe away and opening the door.

During the meeting Elizabeth kept throwing Rodney frowning looks, because he didn't once say anything if not asked and even then he was monosyllabic. John just smiled a lot.

~~

John was preparing for the dress rehearsal, fully back into the Spirit of Christmas. It was going to be a great show with representatives of various cultures in two galaxies and even Rodney was going to recite something.

Rodney had left after the meeting with Elizabeth, but John didn't worry he wouldn't appear. He probably simply had a lot to do in the lab before most of it would close down for the next day.

All in all he felt good. Unrequited love wasn't great, but it had been a while since he'd been in love at all, so he simply tried to let himself feel it without letting it get him down. He'd get over it sooner or later, but right now he was content enough to enjoy those feelings while they were new.

And it wasn't that he couldn't think about anything else. He had a dress rehearsal ahead of him. He asked over the comm if everyone was there and heard confirmation from everyone. Rodney had shown up as well.

"Are we ready to go?"

"Wait," he suddenly heard Rodney from the stage. "Now that I'm actually going to appear, where do y-"

But John didn't hear a word of what else he was saying because Rodney was on the stage with some golden material artfully draped around his hips and two large white wings attached to his back. He was wearing socks and normal shoes, but nothing else.

"Major?" Rodney asked, so loud that it shook John out of his reverie.

"What?"

"Where do you want me to stand?"

"You... you changed your mind?" John asked, because even though he'd hoped all along that he could win Rodney over, he'd thought Rodney would stick to his stupid wish list.

Rodney looked at him for a moment as if quietly debating how or what to answer. "No. I'm keeping my promise," he eventually said evenly.

Keeping his promise? He'd promised to do this, when John fulfilled every wish on his list, which he hadn't. Unless... there was a sharp pain in John's chest. Rodney had kissed the one he loved. Maybe that geologist bitch had put two and two together, after John had asked her about McKay, and then ran into Rodney and kissed him. And Rodney thought that John had arranged it.

"I didn't do anything," John ground out.

Rodney's eyes widened, then narrowed, then went up rolling in a wide arc. "I cannot believe you are this dense. Really, of all the people on Atlantis it had to be you. So unbelievably stupid," Rodney started muttering.

John totally lost track of things then. Why was he stupid? How was he to know that between the meeting and the rehearsal Rodney would run into his number 7? He wasn't telepathic. He had been busy with the preparations and maybe basking a bit at how out of it Rodney had been after the kiss and... Oh.

Suddenly the last weeks ran at extreme speed through John's head. Rodney's looks, how he'd ask how things were going, how he wasn't willing to tell John anything, the hope and sadness in his eyes when he looked at John, how Zelenka had asked, who _he_ loved. And the way Rodney had called out his name, when he had blown him.

Okay, so maybe he had gotten a bit off the track in his hatred for number 7. And maybe dense and stupid weren't entirely wrong words to describe him. And also, he noticed, apparently Rodney had a thing for him, and John was standing here totally dumbfounded and still not kissing Rodney.

John ran then and jumped up the stage. He grabbed Rodney's arm and dragged him away, saying into the comm, "I'll have to tell Dr. McKay where he'll stand and everything, since he missed all the earlier rehearsals. Go through your lines once more and check costumes and the tech and everything. I'll be back in half an hour." He looked Rodney up and down. "Make that an hour."

When he dragged Rodney out of the door, Rodney stopped. "What the hell are you doing? You think I'll walk through Atlantis like this?"

"You'll appear on stage in front of everyone tomorrow," John pointed out.

"Yes, that will be tomorrow in this stupid show, where I'll not be the only one dressed up as humiliatingly as possible."

John put his hands on both his arms then. "You look..." He couldn't even finish the sentence and tried to say it all with just the look in his eyes. Apparently Rodney understood.

"You really want me," he said, almost in a whisper as if saying it out aloud could change the fact.

John didn't say anything; instead, he took Rodney's hand and pulled him towards the closest transporter. Rodney didn't resist.

When they were in John's room, John pulled Rodney's face close and kissed him. It was nothing like the kiss under the mistletoe because this wasn't teasing and it wasn't surprising, it was just right. Rodney put his arms around him and held him in a death grip and John wanted to smile, but instead he opened up his mouth to deepen the kiss.

He moved one hand away from Rodney's face over his shoulder to his back, when he suddenly ran into the wings.

Rodney pulled away. "Don't mess with them, it took ages to get them right."

John just stared at him. Then he broke into a grin and was ready to drop down on his knees in front of Rodney once again, when Rodney stopped him.

"Not like that again," he said uncomfortably, not looking at John.

John frowned, because he was pretty damn sure that Rodney had enjoyed it. A lot. Then he understood. "I only ran because I thought that you loved... that your number 7 was someone else."

"It's okay, you don't have to explain now."

"I didn't know, Rodney. Not really, until that moment," John said, still trying to make him understand.

Rodney leaned forward and kissed him again, softly now. John put his arms around him, mindful of the wings, and pulled him backwards to the bed. When he could feel it against his legs, his hands slipped to Rodney hips, then he pushed down the gold and whatever else Rodney had been wearing underneath. It fell to Rodney's feet and Rodney stepped out of it and then walked to the end of the bed and carefully sat down there to get out of his shoes.

John watched his winged back as he was hunched over. He scrambled out of his own clothes as fast as possible - which was very fast - and then kneeled on the bed behind Rodney and kissed his back above the wings. Rodney was done with his shoes and socks then and got up and turned around. John moved back, but still got part of one wing slapped in his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Rodney said. "Did I hurt you?"

But John could only laugh, which made Rodney smile.

Rodney should smile more often, John thought in that moment. And he wondered if Rodney would wear the wings again for him. Just in case he wouldn't he should really make the most of this.

He held out his hands and took Rodney's in his, pulling him onto the bed.

They both knelt on the bed for a moment, just looking at each other and holding hands. Then they both leaned forward at the same time, kissing again. It started slow, but then Rodney opened up his mouth and John pushed in his tongue and suddenly things weren't slow anymore.

Rodney was moving one hand on John's chest, and the other held him by the neck. John's hands wandered to Rodney's ass, pulling him close so that their hardening dicks met. John groaned into Rodney's mouth and Rodney pressed closer and closer until John tumbled backwards. He scrambled around until he lay fully on his back and Rodney lay down on top of him, resuming their kissing and pushing against him.

John could feel the wings rub against his spread thighs.

Rodney began kissing down his neck and John moved one hand into his hair, the other firmly on Rodney's ass feeling every thrust. He'd never done anything like this with another man. But here with Rodney on a narrow bed in Atlantis it felt so right that John didn't have any doubts at all.

Rodney kissed him again on the mouth, his tongue pushing into John so messily that it distracted John from what else was going on until he suddenly felt Rodney's hand closing around both their dicks.

John moaned around Rodney's tongue and Rodney stroked quickly a couple of times before moving his hand aside and just grinding into John. John thrust up his hip against Rodney, needing to be closer and needing the wonderful friction that brought him higher with every little movement either of them made.

John moved his head away from Rodney's mouth, panting and saying Rodney's name.

"John," Rodney said in return and there was lust and want but also that something else that John had always sensed in the last few weeks.

John grabbed Rodney's ass with both his hands, pulling him close against his straining hips. The wings were tickling his arms as Rodney moved against him his mouth seeking John's once again. The kiss was wet and wild and when they parted they both breathed heavily, their eyes locked.

John thrust up one more time, lifting Rodney up, and then he came with an almost quiet sigh on his lips. Rodney pushed against him frantically a few more times calling John's name again and again until he too spilled himself between them.

John kissed him, putting his arms around Rodney as well as he could without damaging or detaching the wings.

"That was amazing," he said when they finally parted.

Rodney looked down at him, idly stroking John's shoulder with one finger. "When do we have to be back?"

"We still have some time."

"Not enough."

"Not right now maybe, but later."

"I have a bigger bed," Rodney said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Yes, you do," John said, smiling.

Rodney kissed him again. "It really never occurred to you that you could be number 7?"

"No. I really didn't think too much about it, and when I did I started disliking that person for some reason."

Rodney grinned pleased. "You were jealous of yourself?"

"Well, I didn't know I was jealous _and_ I didn't know it was me, so no, I wasn't 'jealous of myself'."

"You were, too. You just didn't know."

"It doesn't matter now, does it?"

Rodney shook his head. "I still can't believe you got through that list. You even got 5 twice and 7..."

"I _really_ wanted you to get into the Christmas Spirit," John said, just a bit proud.

"Yes, yes. You know, it's like that Christmas movie with James Stewart?"

"When George Bailey remembers what's really important in his life?"

"Well, that, too, maybe, but I meant the other thing."

"The other thing?"

"You gave me wings," Rodney said, looking back over his shoulder.

John stared at him and then started laughing.


End file.
